…you can waste your life drawing lines, or live your life crossing them. -Meredith Grey
A lot of things in themselves are not wrong, but have the tendency to cause more havoc than good, in the long run … and one of those things is boundaries
From birth, we’re taught that boundaries are the way to live, they help us not to fall, so we’re put in cots to help us handle the stage we are in. We grow out of these and we’re put in larger ones to accommodate that as well. So somehow as grown adults, we still find ourselves in these proffessional, emotional and psychological cots because we don’t want to fall and be hurt, we don’t want to risk failure, or subject ourselves to the pain the monsters inflict on those that leave their boundaries.
We’re right though, its been proven over and over again that humans and situations have no limits, and once you give them a leg in, they take it all, and pieces of you with them: That guy strips you of the honour you care so much about, that exam takes away all the pride you had in yourself as a success, you allow that uncle into your house for a week and he ruins your child’s future before she’s even there, that girl takes all the love you possibly have to give and even more out the door with her, the guy it took you four years to let in gets someone pregnant, the job you never wanted to take turns out to be the worst decision ever … and these are just a few of the things life could do to us when we let people and new stages in.
So when do we draw the line, and when does it become okay to cross them?
Buddies, I have almost as many questions as you do, as I have learnt the hard way several times myself, but I do know that with some people, even if its just family, with some stages, with some things, with some career decisions, I have broken down walls and I’m happier for it. So I ask myself, are the good ones worth it though? are they worth the terrible lessons I’ve learnt in my short life? are they worth risking all the walls I’ve spent years building up? and I already know the answer. So now what I do is keep building walls, as they are necessary for life and there are some walls that have to stay, but by God’s direction, for every new wall I build, I break an old one, because I cant stay in a cot forever, I’m too tall for that shit. That means I fall more and it hurts, but it means that I fly more too. And for every time I fall, I have my Daddy up there to dust my clothes and keep me moving, and I really hope you have him too. Even though it goes against my natural pattern, I can literally hear him saying to me, “Bimps, the just shall live by faith.”
“What if I fall … oh but my darling, what if you fly?” -Eric Hanson
Somewhere building and breaking some walls.